Thank you Kyle for your gentle and kind response.  Glad I didn't offend you.  The whole purpose of this forum is for us to help each other as best we can, with expecting nothing but perhaps a thank you for it.  Of course, you are welcome to use whatever I provided in lyrics or idea if you want to, with no strings attached.  I'm just glad you found something in what I said to be helpful.  I look forward to the revisions in lyric and rough demo.  Go get 'em champ!

Hi Dave,

Thanks for taking the time to listen and critique my new song. And I'm definitely not offended by any of your rewrites. I asked for honest feedback so thank you for being willing to give it! I did choose a lot of these lyrics intentionally, though I am still going to tweak a few of them now that I'm looking back over them. I do like your lyric "In all the things you do" in verse 1 better than what I had written. Would you be okay if I used that? I'll give you credit on it if you want since I didn't come up with it myself. Thanks again!

Kyle

Hello Kyle!

Great song!  And please forgive me, but I'm a notorious re-writer.  I've done a quick rewrite to say it how I would.  Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with what you wrote; it just means I would have done it different.  But, who the heck am I?

Anyway, I'm trying this and hoping I don't offend you.  I'm hoping I might have said something you could use.  If not, please ignore me.  Again, you've written a good song.  My only strong nit is to say "our Father" rather than "my manager." He's her Father too! Bring her into the family.  And as a minor point, you're not quite conversational in a spot or two.  LInes 2 and 3 don't flow well for me.

Beyond me being me--good job!

Jesus Loves You As You Are

(Verse)

You act like you’re entitled
but your demands are never earned
Still we must meet your standards 
so a Karen's what you're termed

Some call you controlling
in all the things you do
But I've spoken to our Father
and this message is for you

(Chorus)

Jesus loves you as you are
with your pride, anger, and arrogance
He sees into your hurting heart
that’s suffered time and time again

Your life has been cruel
you’ve felt lost in the dark
But never let it fool you
Jesus loves you as you are

(Verse)
No need to be demeaning
No need to put folks down
Let go the hurt you’re clinging
You can turn this all around

You are a child of God
and a sister to us all
Cling to the soul you’ve got
heed to the spirit’s call

(Repeat Chorus)

(Bridge)
The scars upon your heart
can easily be healed
Your layers of protection
can easily be peeled

Just reach up to our Father
he’s waiting there for you
His word will get you farther
In everything you do

(Repeat Chorus)

(Outro)
Yes, Jesus loves you as you are

updated by @davej56: 06/20/25 12:07:04PM

I'd love some feedback on this song I just wrote today. I think it's one of the best I've written in awhile, but I'd like some second opinions so I don't get carried away sharing it too early. It's a song written to the people we would label as "Karens." It's a reminder to us all that there is a real human soul behind every person we label as such, a soul that is deeply loved by God. I hope and pray it is a respectful and meaningful approach to this topic.

https://songpressmusic.com/kylecruse88/audio/297/jesus-loves-you-karen

Some call you entitled
Demanding this whole world
Exists to meet your standards 
A Karen's what you're termed
Some call you controlling
Unwilling to see through
But I've spoken to my Manager
And this message is for you

Jesus loves you just as you are
Beneath all pride and selfish arrogance
He sees Your heart
Jesus loves you just as you've been
Deep inside the darkest door of your soul
Jesus loves you, Karen

Some call you demeaning
Complain to reach your goal
Forgetting that behind each human heart
There is a soul
But God calls you beloved
His child just the same
So come speak to my Manager
And let Him change your name

Wherever you have been, whatever you have done
You can't stop His love for you, Karen
Whatever walls you build, whatever fights you've won
You can't stop the Savior from caring